Constellations Read online

Roland I said I don’t really know but I think it’s something to do with space. And when we were talking about your job earlier on I was nodding along pretty much the entire time but when we stepped through your front door I realised I hadn’t really understood a single thing you’d said.

  Marianne Most of my time is spent sitting in front of a computer.

  Roland Right.

  Marianne Inputting data.

  Roland Right.

  Marianne Cosmic microwave background readings.

  Roland Okay.

  Marianne Radiation left over from the big bang.

  Roland Right.

  Marianne Cosmology. Theoretical early universe cosmology.

  * * *

  Marianne and Roland are a little more drunk.

  Roland I said I don’t really know but I think it’s something to do with space. And when we were talking about your job earlier on I was nodding along pretty much the entire time but when we stepped through your front door I realised I hadn’t really understood a single thing you’d said.

  Marianne Most of my time is spent sitting in front of a computer.

  Roland Right.

  Marianne Inputting data.

  Roland Right.

  Marianne Quantum cosmology.

  Roland Right.

  Marianne Do you know much about theoretical physics?

  Roland Pass.

  Marianne Quantum mechanics?

  Roland Pass.

  Marianne Quantum mechanics focuses on the quantum realm. Atoms, molecules.

  Roland Right.

  Marianne On nuclear and atomic scales, gravity is pretty much insignificant. But in terms of General Relativity, it’s vital.

  Roland Okay.

  Marianne So you’ve these two theories that are completely at odds with one another. Relativity covers the sun, the moon, the stars, while quantum mechanics takes care of molecules, quarks, atoms – that sort of thing. We’ve effectively asked the same question twice and come up with two completely different answers.

  Roland This is really sexy by the way.

  Marianne The point being –

  Roland I had a really amazing time tonight and I’d really like to spend the night.

  Marianne But –

  Roland With you. I’d really like to spend the night –

  Marianne But now we’ve got string theory. Or, to be a bit more specific, we’ve got lots of different string theories –

  Roland If you’d rather I didn’t stay you just have to say.

  Marianne And the exciting thing about string theory is that it potentially bridges the gap between relativity and –

  Roland You haven’t answered either of my questions.

  Marianne kisses Roland.

  Marianne A by-product of every single one of these theories – almost entirely by accident – is the possibility that we’re part of a multiverse.

  Roland kisses Marianne.

  Despite our best efforts, there are certain microscopic observations that just cannot be predicted absolutely. Now, potentially, one way of explaining this is to draw the conclusion that, at any given moment, several outcomes can co-exist simultaneously.

  Roland This is genuinely turning me on, you do realise that?

  Marianne In the quantum multiverse, every choice, every decision you’ve ever and never made exists in an unimaginably vast ensemble of parallel universes.

  Roland Everything?

  Marianne Everything.

  Roland Everything I’ve ever done?

  Marianne Everything you’ve ever and never done. We should try and keep our voices down, my housemate –

  Roland But if everything I’m ever gonna do already exists, then what’s the point in me –

  Marianne Well –

  Roland What’s the point in me even –

  Marianne Well –

  Roland D’you see what I’m saying?

  Marianne No, totally, but – Let’s say that ours really is the only universe that exists. There’s only one unique me and one unique you. If that were true, then there could only ever really be one choice. But if every possible future exists, then the decisions we do and don’t make will determine which of these futures we actually end up experiencing. Imagine rolling a dice six thousand times.

  * * *

  Still drunk.

  Roland Everything?

  Marianne Everything.

  Roland Everything I’ve ever done?

  Marianne Everything you’ve ever and never done. We should try and keep our voices down, my housemate –

  Roland But if everything I’m ever gonna do already exists, then what’s the point in me –

  Marianne There isn’t.

  Roland What?

  Marianne In none of our equations do we see any sign whatsoever of any evidence of free will.

  Roland In your e—

  Marianne We’re just particles.

  Roland Speak for y’self.

  Marianne You, me, everyone, we might think that we have some say in – We might think that the choices we make will have some say in the –

  Roland Right, no, sure –

  Marianne We’re just particles –

  Roland No, sure, but –

  Marianne We’re just particles governed by a series of very particular laws being knocked the fuck around all over the place.

  Roland You make it sound so glamorous.

  * * *

  Marianne and Roland are sober.

  Marianne Most of my time is spent sitting in front of a computer typing in numbers. It’s not really very interesting.

  Roland Okay.

  Marianne Look. I, I’ve had a really enjoyable evening.

  Roland No, yeah, me –

  Marianne I haven’t really made up my mind, though, whether or not I’d like you to stay. I just – I’ve got quite a bit on at the moment and we were having a really lovely time and I thought it would be really nice to invite you back. But I just want to be clear that I’m not massively interested in sleeping with you.

  Roland It’s all right, you don’t have to –

  Marianne I’d just sort of rather get into bed and go to sleep. But I’m completely happy to go and get you a sleeping bag and a couple of towels.

  Roland Okay.

  Marianne But – I mean, just to be clear, I’m not being coy. I’m not sort of saying no to sex but yes to all the other stuff. We’re going to go to sleep, separately, and then we’re going to wake up and then we’re going to have some toast. Or, I mean, whatever. You don’t have to have toast.

  Roland Floor’s fine. Honestly.

  * * *

  Marianne I’m so tired. I’m so tired, Roland. Before people had face

  Before they had face

  Face before they

  FUCK.

  Roland Okay.

  Marianne God.

  Roland God?

  Marianne People’s lives were their own. Before it became skin

  Skin, it became

  Skin

  Roland Skin?

  Marianne Mum wasn’t scared of dying, she was scared of being kept alive. You know?

  Roland Yes.

  Marianne That wasn’t what scared her.

  Roland I understand.

  Marianne It’s not just the speaking.

  Roland Okay now I don’t understand?

  Marianne Reading. I’m having trouble – Numbers, words, on the page. I don’t know how to explain it. Typing. Typing, as well.

  Roland In what way?

  Marianne I know the word. I know the word I’m trying to type. But I don’t know the letters. None of the letters seem right. Rea

  Rea

  Rea

  Roland You don’t need to finish.

  Marianne I want to.

  Roland I think I know what you’re trying to say.

  Marianne How How can you know what I’m trying to say?

  Mmm Most of the time I don’t even know what I’m trying to say.

  Roland You’r
e right I was being polite because I don’t want you to wear yourself out.

  Marianne Maybe we should get me a notepad to hang around my neck?

  Roland What?

  Marianne Kidding.

  Roland Mary fucking hell.

  Marianne Roland, I don’t think that I can go back to work.

  * * *

  Roland All right?

  Marianne Where have you been?

  Roland Pub.

  Marianne I sent you a text.

  Roland I know.

  Marianne Why didn’t you text me back?

  Roland Dunno.

  Marianne What does that mean?

  Roland It means I dunno. Means I didn’t think it was urgent.

  Marianne I didn’t know where you were.

  Roland I just told you.

  Marianne Now, you just told me now, but I wanted to know –

  Roland I was playing tennis. I was playing tennis with Tony and then we went to the pub. What’s wrong? I’m sorry. What is it, what’s wrong?

  Marianne Roland, I’m really sorry.

  Roland What, what is it?

  Marianne James and I had sex.

  Roland James.

  Marianne From work.

  Roland The centre parting? You mean the bloke with the centre parting?

  Marianne Yes.

  Roland When?

  Marianne We’ve – There’s been a few. A few times.

  Roland How many’s a few?

  Marianne I’d rather we didn’t get into who did what to whom.

  Roland How many’s a few, Mary?

  Marianne Six. Maybe seven.

  Roland Spread out? Were the six or seven times you had sex spread out over a particular period of time?

  Marianne Yes.

  Roland Are you together, then, d’you wanna be together?

  Marianne I don’t know.

  Roland Is he moving in?

  Marianne Of course not. Roland, of course he’s not.

  Roland Do you want me to move out?

  Beat.

  When do you want me to move out?

  Marianne There’s no rush.

  Roland That’s it then is it?

  * * *

  Marianne Where have you been?

  Roland Pub.

  Marianne I sent you a text.

  Roland I know.

  Marianne Why didn’t you text me back?

  Roland Dunno.

  Marianne What does that mean?

  Roland It means I dunno. Means I didn’t think it was urgent.

  Marianne I didn’t know where you were.

  Roland I just told you.

  Marianne Now, you just told me now, but I wanted to know –

  Roland I was playing tennis. I was playing tennis with Tony and then we went to the pub. What’s wrong? I’m sorry. What is it, what’s wrong?

  Marianne Roland, I’m really sorry.

  Roland What, what is it?

  Marianne James and I had sex.

  Roland James.

  Marianne From work.

  Roland Dandruff? You mean the bloke with the dandruff?

  Marianne He doesn’t – Yes.

  Roland When?

  Marianne We’ve – There’s been a few. A few times.

  Roland How many’s a few?

  Marianne I’d rather we didn’t get into who did what to whom.

  Roland How many’s a few, Mary?

  Marianne Six. Maybe seven.

  Roland Spread out?

  Marianne What?

  Roland Were the six or seven times you had sex spread out over a particular period of time?

  Marianne Yes.

  Roland Are you together, then, d’you wanna be together? Mary, do the two of you –

  Marianne I don’t know.

  Roland Is he moving in?

  Beat.

  When do you want me to move out?

  Marianne There’s no rush.

  Roland How old is he?

  Marianne He’s twenty-four.

  Roland Twenty-four?

  Marianne Yes.

  Roland He’s a child.

  Marianne He’s twenty-four, Roland.

  Roland Where do you have sex?

  Marianne All sorts of places.

  Roland Fuck does that mean?

  Marianne It’s means we’ve had sex in more than one place.

  Roland Here?

  Marianne Roland, of course we’ve not had –

  Roland His place?

  Marianne Yes.

  Roland Where does he live?

  Marianne Brighton.

  Roland You have sex in the daytime then?

  Marianne Yes.

  Roland In the fucking daytime?

  Marianne Sometimes, yes.

  Roland During lunch is it?

  Beat.

  So when’s he gonna move in? Mary, when’s he gonna –

  Marianne There’s no date.

  Roland But he is gonna move in?

  Marianne Hopefully.

  Roland Am I boring?

  Marianne What?

  Roland Do I bore you?

  Marianne Of course not.

  Roland We don’t talk about space enough, is that it?

  Marianne It’s nothing to do with work.

  Roland That doesn’t make it better, y’know. If you’d said yes, if you’d said yes, it’s because we don’t talk about space enough, it might have made a bit more sense. I’d kick myself for not making more of an effort, but at least it’d make a bit more sense.

  Marianne There’s no linear explanation I’m afraid.

  * * *

  Roland Where have you been?

  Marianne Work.

  Roland I sent you a text.

  Marianne I know.

  Roland You’ve not texted me back?

  Marianne I know.

  Roland What does that mean?

  Marianne It means I know that you sent me a text.

  Roland I didn’t know where you were.

  Marianne Why are you being so tetchy? I was at work and I missed the seven thirty-seven and then the eight oh-four didn’t turn up. What’s wrong, what’s the matter?

  Roland Mary I’m really sorry but I had sex with Alison O’Connor Tuesday the week before last.

  Marianne Alison O’Connor.

  Roland Yeah.

  Marianne I thought she was going bald?

  Roland What?

  Marianne She’s going bald, Roland, she’s going fucking bald. Well how many times? How many times did you have sex with her, Roland?

  Roland Once.

  Marianne Once?

  Roland Tuesday the week before last, yeah.

  Marianne What were you doing, what were the two of you doing?

  Roland I was helping her set up a hive.

  Marianne Is this a fucking joke?

  Roland No.

  Marianne You were helping her set up a fucking hive?

  Roland Yes.

  Marianne Speak up.

  Roland I said yes. Yes, I was helping her –

  Marianne Is it serious?

  Roland I don’t know.

  Marianne You don’t know?

  Roland I need some time to think about it.

  Marianne Oh you need some time to think about it?

  Roland Preferably, yes.

  Beat.

  Marianne Does this mean you’re moving out?

  Roland Up to you, really.

  Marianne If it were up to me, Roland, you wouldn’t have fucked fucking Alison O’Connor.

  Roland All right.

  Marianne I beg your pardon?

  Roland Calm down.

  Marianne Fuck you actually.

  Beat.

  I’ve never been happier. Living with you. Just so you know.

  * * *

  Roland That doesn’t make it better, y’know. If you’d said yes, if you’d said yes, it’s because we don’t talk about space enough, it might have made a bit more sense. I’d kick myself for not making
more of an effort, but at least it’d make a bit more sense.

  Marianne There’s no straightforward explanation I’m afraid.

  Roland Don’t make me leave.

  Marianne Roland –

  Roland This is the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to me, I’m serious.

  Marianne You’ll be fine.

  Roland I don’t know what I’m gonna do.

  Marianne You can move back to Tower Hamlets.

  Roland Is that meant to be a joke?

  Marianne Of course it’s not. I just meant that you’ve got lots – There’s lots you can do.

  Roland I don’t care.

  Marianne Come on.

  Roland I don’t.

  Marianne You’re being melodramatic.

  Roland How long have you been waiting to tell me?

  Marianne A week.

  Roland I was going to propose.

  Marianne Roland –

  * * *

  Roland I need some time to think about it.

  Marianne Oh you need some time to think about it?

  Roland Preferably, yes.

  Beat.

  Marianne Does this mean you’re moving out?

  Roland Up to you, really.

  Marianne If it were up to me, Roland, you wouldn’t have fucked fucking –

  Roland All right.

  Marianne I beg your pardon?

  Roland I don’t wanna fight.

  Marianne Tough.

  Roland What?

  Marianne I said tough.

  Roland Mary, come on, I’m telling you because I regret it, not because I want us to –

  Marianne You regret something once; you don’t regret it and then keep going.

  Roland What’s the likelihood you might be able to forgive me?

  * * *

  Marianne Where have you been?

  Roland Pub.

  Marianne I sent you a text.

  Roland I know.

  Marianne Why didn’t you text me back?

  Roland Dunno.

  Marianne What does that mean?

  Roland It means I dunno. Means I didn’t think it was urgent.

  Marianne I didn’t know where you were.

  Roland I just told you.

  Marianne Now, you just told me now, but I wanted to know –

  Roland I was playing tennis. I was playing tennis with Tony and then we went to the pub. What’s wrong? I’m sorry. What is it, what’s wrong?

  Marianne Roland, I’m really sorry.

  Roland What, what is it?

  Marianne James and I had sex.

  Beat.

  Marianne Roland, did you hear what I –

  Roland I know.

  Marianne What?

  Roland You had a message from him while you were in the shower. I read it.

  * * *

  Roland hits Marianne. Beat.

  Marianne Yeah you need to leave.

  Roland Make me.